Category Archives: dreams

Olympic Dream


Olympic Rings by Public Domain Images

I have a confession to make. I cry during the Olympic games. It’s not out of sadness or regret. Rather it’s when I see a flip or a twist or an unbelievable move executed perfectly my throat gets tight and the tears flow from the sheer beauty and excellence I have just witnessed. Yes, we are Olympic nerds and the 2018 winter games are upon us. Bring on the podiums!

I’m not sure I was such an avid follower of the Olympic games when I was younger but back in 1984, the Summer games were being held in Los Angeles where my husband and I were living at the time and we decided we couldn’t be in the same city of such an enormous event and not be part of it. We became Olympic volunteers. That was one of the best decisions we ever made. For 16 days we were immersed in the blood, sweat and tears, the hopes and the dreams, the highs and the lows of athletes from around the world, many who could scarcely believe they had made it to the world stage. The energy in the city was electric.20180214_165449 Strangers cheered events together in bars and pubs, restaurants stayed open way beyond their usual times, parties held by dignitaries and celebrities to celebrate these athletes were everywhere. We had amazing access to backstage activities as well as the drama and excitement of the competitions. It was one of the most thrilling events I have ever worked.

My assigned job was in one of the Olympic villages. I ran the video viewing room where athletes could come and watch themselves on video after their event or watch their competitors to prepare for their match with them. It was wonderful to meet athletes from around the world, cheer with them as they watched themselves and feel their excitement at even being considered an Olympic athlete no matter where they placed. Having family from different countries means I cheer for USA, I cheer for Canada, I cheer for Morocco. But I also cheer for the newcomer, I cheer for the underdog, I cheer for the veteran who knows this is their last Olympic games. It is a time to celebrate excellence but also to celebrate effort.


LA Times Day 6 Olympic cover circa 1984

What the average spectator does not get to experience is the amazing camaraderie behind the scenes. Young men and women from all corners of the world becoming friends, sharing wins and losses, trading uniforms, t-shirts, pins. It is a beautiful, glorious blending of the world’s colors, just like the Olympic rings represent. We still have our own uniforms from that wonderful summer of 1984 and the pins we collected and the uniforms we were given. The memories of that time stay vibrant. It breaks my heart to have recently learned that for many athletes this celebration was a facade that hid their private hell of abuse. And yet despite that they only showed the world their strongest and fiercest selves.


Since I have become a parent, the Hallmark type commercials during the Olympics illustrating a parent’s commitment to supporting their children’s athletic dreams often has me in tears. Parents who patiently spend hours with their children teaching them their sport from toddlerhood, driving at all hours to practice near and far, toting coffee and snacks, often fighting traffic and fatigue but always encouraging their child’s passion, never knowing where that road will lead but having faith in the process. I have siblings who were sport parents and I too have been one and I can attest that we all had those secret Olympic dreams for our children too.


Medals by Gadini via Pixabay

What had my eyes welling up this Olympic Opening Ceremonies was the powerful message and symbol of peace for the world. For months we have been on edge, hearing sabers rattling between this country and that one, fear of nuclear attack and retribution. Yet at these games, a divided country showed up as one united country wearing the same uniform, marching in together. Was this a savvy political strategy? Perhaps so, but it is one I found that I liked very much. The possibility of world peace was personified right before our eyes. I find it hard to understand why we could not all stand and cheer for that.

One truth these experiences have revealed to me is that we don’t need to look far to find common ground. The Olympics bring together athletes from different cultures and hundreds of stories to perform the same sports. Every person who has ever worked an Olympic games as a volunteer or a judge or an athlete feels the magic that continues long after the closing ceremonies. My brother volunteered in Vancouver 8 years ago and his experience mirrors ours in so many ways. It’s a unique bond. For now, though, it’s time to get back to watching today’s medal round events. That is, if the tears don’t get in the way.


Vancouver Olympic Flame 2010 by Makfish via Pixabay



Equinox by Comfreak via Pixabay

Last Friday was the autumn equinox. Summer has officially changed to fall, my favorite season of the year. Lots of great things happen that give me so much joy every fall. Anniversaries, birthdays, Halloween, Thanksgiving. Harvest, changing leaves, crisp air and pumpkins. The change begins in September. For me while I was raising my children and now as an advisor working in academia, September has always been the beginning of the new year, not January. Getting ready for fall means new school supplies, new clothes, a fresh start. A new beginning. The equinox signals the change.


Tree of Change via Pixabay

This fall feels different. This September the world has seen three major hurricanes, two considered the largest in a century. Islands have changed, coastlines have changed, lives have changed beyond repair. This September has had two devastating earthquakes, hundreds killed and displaced. Monsoons and tornadoes. Flooding. Massive forest fires that burned for months clouded the air in September. This equinox it is clear that Mother Earth is pissed.  She made the required change from summer to fall but her fury seems slow to abate. The same can be said for human anger. Swords are rattling and there is great division as politics permeates every facet of life and not in a good way.

We live near major military bases, Air Force, Navy, Army and submarine. There has been a lot of activity these past few months, a sense of preparation. One night a loud hum that turned into something dark and ominous passed over my home. Something massive moved low and slow overhead, a feat of engineering, a sound that generated fear and unease, a disturbance in the force. Is this how our parents felt in the years before the great war? The uncertainty in the air, the rhetoric, the falseness of promises. The taunts of tyrants, the drums of war. There are major policy changes and vehement disagreements at every level and definitely a few steps backward. The constant deflection of attention by our leaders is giving me whiplash. There is a love of chaos and the blurring of lines. Sometimes it feels like a fight for the very soul of this country.

George Harrison famously sang “All things must pass” and if anything can save us, that sentiment surely will. I play my music loud to try to drown out the dissent. The equinox signals the seasons have transitioned and we are now on the other side of the next step. But how have we changed in the process? Webster’s dictionary defines equinox as the time of year when daytime and nighttime are equal in length. It certainly feels like that right now. There is such polarization that life in this country feels very black and white. For or against. Good or evil. Night or day.

So, yes, it has been a unique September. It is the first September we did not have our Mom here to celebrate her birthday. This September has dark things coming out of the shadows and discourse seems alive wherever one looks. Yet there is the other side, that equal balance of the equinox. This September has shone a light on heroes and heroines of many colors, genders, backgrounds and creeds. There has been thousands willing to stand, to kneel or to lay down in the face of injustice. There is hope and strength and so much courage. There is the opportunity to change the narrative, a chance to do something different now that the sun has crossed the equator.

Despite the dark days and the muted nights, life marches on. The college started classes this week, a whole new group of students with hopes and dreams and new clothes and school supplies beginning their education to explore and fulfill their life’s purpose. The devastating natural disasters have paradoxically brought out the best of humanity. In the face of that fury there is no color, creed or gender. There’s just people in need of each other. Why does it take these extreme measures to make us realize how alike we all really are? How fragile we are? How strong we are? That our blood is the exact same color and texture. That all of our brain matter is grey. That our lungs move in and out in harmony. That we all laugh and cry and love and struggle. We all have hopes and dreams. Life is not black or white. It’s a rainbow created by the sun shining through raindrops. Out of the mud comes the lotus. This too shall pass just as the equinox slowly changes the balance of the sun’s trajectory.  The equinox has made the transition and we are on the other side. Which road will we take into autumn?


Silhouette by Geralt via Pixabay



DSCN0194Last week an event of astronomical proportions occurred when a total eclipse of the sun was seen through a broad swath of the continental US and in partial elsewhere. An eclipse happens when the earth, moon and sun align, normally when the moon is in  crescent stage (according to the science tech who spoke at the gathering I attended to watch this event). The moon slowly encroaches on the sun until it fully covers it for several moments, leaving only a small bright circle of light as the sun tries to unsuccessfully maintain its superior stance in the heavens. In other words, a much smaller, seemingly dead asteroid has the ability to entirely block an enormous ball of burning flame from view, change the daylight to twilight and drop the temperature some significant degrees. That’s pretty cool.

I have always loved the mystery of space and the stars and have often been accused of having my head lost in them. As a young teen enthralled with such TV shows as Star Trek and later the iconic world of Star Wars, traveling to the stars was always an absolute dream of mine. I was determined to become an astronaut until I was undermined by my own inability to master high level math and science classes. Alas, my trip to the stars would only ever be real in my vast imagination bolstered by books and films.

What is it about our dreams that make us believe they are attainable? When we are


Dreamcatcher by Pexels via Pixabay

young, the sky’s the limit until someone tells you it is not. We can have absolute faith, unshakable and true, that we can achieve whatever we put our minds to until we bump up against reality. Now that is not true of everyone. There are those who knew right away what they were meant to be and have achieved those goals. But I see that as kind of an eclipse; all the stars aligned for that person to make that dream happen. And yet despite that realization, I have never given up on having dreams. What is true is that as flexible humans we can adjust our dreams so that they are attainable. Or perhaps it is ourselves that we adjust to be more in line with our dreams. Like that determined little moon, it is possible to find yourself having your moment in the sun with the greatest of satisfaction and accomplishment. The real trick to dream attainment is discovering who you really are.

In that respect I believe it is important to follow your heart’s demands because more often than not it brings you to the place where you are supposed to be for the dream to evolve. The dream in my 20’s was to work in film and live in Hollywood. That I lived in northern Canada in a small town thousands of miles and a lifetime away from such a dream didn’t stop me. Once I got to Hollywood and started working on the dream, the bump against reality was jolting.  I did not expect it to be easy but it did not take me long to learn that much of the promise of Hollywood is as opaque as the smog that covers it. In a city built on fantasy, image counts, body type and hair color counts, speech and words (but not necessarily truth) counts. Talent really doesn’t register until you’ve been lucky enough to get a few jobs and even then it might not count.

Yet I have no regrets, not one. I grew up in Hollywood, I had fun in Hollywood and yes even got to meet the actor who played one of those fictional Star Trek characters I admired so much. I also met some lifelong friends and the man I would marry and raise a family with. And yes, the dream changed. I realized I was very good at listening to people, pinpointing what they trying to express and able to give them ideas to help with their particular concern or question. I went back to school and got my degree. One dream eclipsed another. That happened to be the right one for me but it could not have happened if I had not followed the one that wasn’t quite right for me.

Today is the last day of August as autumn begins to eclipse summer. Perhaps life is just a series of eclipses and our job is to find that brilliant circle in each event to mark our life’s unique journey. Sometimes it’s hard to know what each transition might mean especially when the darkness encroaches. I think of what the people of Texas are experiencing now in the wake of Hurricane Harvey. How devastating to think about rebuilding their lives let alone just surviving the event. Yet everywhere in that disaster is evidence that love has eclipsed hate. People have come together to help each other and there is seems to be no divide in the common goal of saving lives.

Maybe the universe was trying to tell us something a week ago Monday when millions trained their eyes to the sky. Mother Nature knows how to get our attention as she has proven once again with this cataclysmic hurricane.  We need to pay attention if we are to survive. There always seems to be a light in every moment of darkness. We are human and as such we have amazing capacity to rise again. If we can hold out over those moments of darkness, that sun will start to reveal itself again. Time to let go of all this hate and discourse. Time for the next eclipse.


Eclipse by ipicgr via Pixabay